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Let’s talk Mental Health for a moment…

And yes, it’s somewhat related to my books. For some reason, I’ve been thinking about mental health and how therapy has helped me and I just posted my random thoughts on Twitter.

So I thought, I’d share them here too. Because…why not?

Deep breath, here we go.

I ‘m not sure who needs to hear this, but I’ve been thinking about mental health and that I should share my own experience. I was in therapy for 2 years in Germany. I have high-functioning anxiety and needed to deal with a few things on top of that anxiety and/or resulting from that anxiety. I was working full-time, and was gaining more and more responsibility at work. I loved my high-stress job (for the most part), and I was good at it (at least I want to believe so).

One of the reasons I was able to do that much was thanks to therapy. My therapist used Cognitive behavioral techniques.

She gave me the tools I needed. And it wasn’t immediate. And it was a lot of hours. I used to go once a week during my lunch break. Then once every 2 weeks, then once a month. I started because The Chemical Engineer very rightly told me that he couldn’t be my therapist.

I had tried it in the US too while finishing my first Master’s but it didn’t click. And I didn’t look for someone else. I probably should have tried to find a professional then, but I waited a few more years to really invest the time in myself.

Fast-forward four years and I’m back in therapy to deal with all those emotions and fears that come with cancer. I didn’t get therapy in my first cancer center and it’s a pity they didn’t offer it, because I was retreating and didn’t know how to deal with it.

When I started seeing my therapist in January 2018, I was a mess. And she has helped me so so so much. She listens to me and gives me the tools I need to deal with all of that.

The Chemical Engineer even went to a few sessions and it has made such a difference in the way we communicate through this. Therapy has made a big difference in my life. And yet, there still seems to be a stigma attached to it.

Maybe that’s why a lot of the characters in my books go through therapy. It’s not magic. It doesn’t happen overnight. And it can take time to find the right person. But I believe it does help. And if you need it, I really hope you’re able to receive it and seek that help ❤

And here’s a picture of Plato The Dog because that picture always manages to me smile.

All the pillows.
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It’s my 5th publishing anniversary or The One With All The Thoughts…

Me and ARC of ONE TWO THREE
2014 Me holding an ARC of ONE TWO THREE 🙂

It’s my fifth publishing anniversary or The One With All The Thoughts…First: “The One…” is a reference to Friends’ episodes, I’m not trying to say I’m The One with all the thoughts. That would be a looooot of thoughts 😉 It was either going to be that or It’s my fifth publishing anniversary and I’ll write a blog post if I want to (imagine me singing…or not…you probably shouldn’t, I have a speaking voice :-))

It’s been five years since this picture was taken.

Wow. Five. Years. The Chemical Engineer and I were living in Mainz, in Germany with Peter The Cat. I was working at the European Central Bank as Press Officer. We now live in Maryland with Plato The Dog and Bobbie Voltaire the Cat, where after going back into teaching, I am now writing and narrating. A lot has happened in five years, both publishing and non-publishing wise.

But first, a little or rather big shout-out to my parents who are celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary today (June 26th,2019).  Forty-five years! And let me just say, it makes my heart full of  ❤

Dedication in ONE, TWO, THREE…

Now, when it comes to publishing.  In those five years, there has been tears and laughter, total failures and resounding successes.

Some days, I feel like I still have no clue what I’m doing. Others, it feels like I have somewhat of an idea. Publishing has been a roller coaster of emotions. And let me make one thing clear, I am able to do it this way thanks to the Chemical Engineer. I definitely don’t make enough for us to live off my writing. And I’m very grateful he still believes in me after five years.

Five years ago, I published ONE, TWO, THREE…

When I published One, Two, Three, I thought it was going to be an instant bestseller.

You know the kind…even though I since realized that many (maybe most; I’m not sure since I don’t have any hard data) of the overnight successes had actually been in the making for decades.

Anyways, I believed I would wake up the morning of the launch and thousands of copies would have sold. I would be hitting all bestseller lists. Producers would be calling me, begging me to adapt the story for TV. Bookstores would ask me to stock it because people would be asking for it.

On the first day, it sold less than the number of my Facebook friends. Way less. Way way less. And nobody contacted me to adapt it for TV.

But I am still writing and I am still publishing and I am still selling copies of One, Two, Three today. And someone made fan art from the story!

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Plus. the French translation got picked up as my option book with a French publisher.

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Signing the contract for the French version of ONE, TWO, THREE 🙂

It was retitled VIVRE, AIMER, DANSER… I love that cover!

VivreAimerDanser
Amazon : https://amzn.to/2TS1Cfp
Fnac : https://bit.ly/2RqDS5o
Cultura : https://bit.ly/2FAJHX1

And I still receive emails from readers who tell me how Natalya’s story has moved them, and how it has helped them somehow, and how much they loved getting to know her and Antonio, and Becca, and James.

Since I published One, Two, Three, I published one novelette (One Dream Only – Natalya’s story 0.5), one novella (A Summer Like No Other – Em & Nick #1) and four novels (Always Second Best, Em & Nick #2, Love in B Minor, Fear Me Fear Me Not and See Me See Me Not).

You can find all my books on Amazon, iBooks, Google Play, B&N, Kobo

And you can also recommend them on Overdrive for your library!

Including this one that is available for pre-order!
AmazonKobo –  B&NiTunes

I published translations of all those books in many languages (French, German, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Japanese, Dutch, Chinese…)

And I published bilingual copies of some for those learning languages.

And three of those French translations were picked up and published by a French publisher (available in French bookstores and grocery stores). I sold thousands of copies in France.

More and more readers have joined my cozy nook on Facebook. (Thank you!)

I went to writer’s retreats with talented writers and amazing human beings ❤

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Retreat

I participated in several authors’ events, and shared the stage with NYT bestseller authors and so many talented authors. 

I signed a guitar!

SigningAGuitar

I was featured in the Baltimore Sun.

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Recently, I got my first BookBub promotion for FEAR ME, FEAR ME NOT. I’ve been trying for 5 years to get a BookBub 🙂 and I loved what they did for the promotion and how well it worked!

Some of my books are even available in audiobook! Like LOVE IN B MINOR which has been gathering wonderful reviews!

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Audible – https://adbl.co/2HzWTxN
Amazon – https://amzn.to/2S6WvuF
iTune – https://itunes.apple.com/…/love-in-b-minor-una…/id1450417078

I started producing my own audiobooks, like LA PEUR DANS LE SANG (and soon UN SEUL REVE).

I started narrating other people’s books, like this Learning French audiobook.

As well as other audiobooks for which I use a pen name…;-)

During that time, I also got diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (in October 2017). After finding out that I needed to change treatments, I also organized an auction to benefit non-profits who help young adults with cancer. I was blown away by the amount of support I received from the publishing community for the Let’s Do Something Good auction! I mean I even got a signed book from Jenna Fischer! And she retweeted me and tweeted me directly!

I am back in treatment now and it’s not necessarily easy (for many reasons) yet easier (in other ways), but let me tell you: the book I currently have on pre-order, TRUST ME TRUST ME NOT, means a lot to me.

You can pre-order it now!
AmazonKobo –  B&NiTunes

I can’t tell if I love one of my books more than the other, but I can tell you that writing Lacey and Hunter has been cathartic in a lot of ways. Being able to write has been emotional and hard and easy at the same time. Writing always is, but having Lacey trying to move forward, not knowing if she really can has been hitting a spot.

During these past five years, I didn’t reach a point where both The Chemical Engineer and I and our four-legged friends (see pictures below because how cute are they :-)) could live from my income. I loss some (especially at the beginning), I gained some (I actually make profits from my writing now, whoop whoop!).

I still dream of getting contacted by a producer. So if you’re a producer reading this, don’t hesitate 😉

But most importantly, I am grateful I get to write those stories in my head. Writing helps keeping me balanced even when it’s hard and frustrating, I find that it helps me.

I am grateful to my family and friends and everyone who helps me and cheers me on along the way (my talented and generous writer friends, photographer, cover designers, translators, editors and more).

And I’m especially grateful to my wonderful husband (who did get a Best Husband Of The Year Award last year or was it two years ago? :-)). Sometimes I have the feeling that I should do more, try more ways to sell more books (and I do), but even when The Chemical Engineer asks me for Excel sheets for the business side (and full disclosure: we bicker ;-)), I know he believes in me. And that means the world.

Look! Graphs 🙂 Number of books I sold. Trackerbox gave me those – they do not reflect the sales with my French publisher nor some of the translations and do not show the free ebooks (like Bookbub)…So the sales from A SUMMER LIKE NO OTHER for example are a lot of paperbacks 😉 since the ebook is currently free.

And I’m grateful to YOU, dear reader, for taking a chance on my books…and for loving the characters as much as I do ❤

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Tomorrow, I become a hybrid author…

On Wednesday, the French translation of my novel A SUMMER LIKE NO OTHER comes out again in paperback. But this time, it is published by Dreamland (City Editions). They publish Jessica Sorensen too (I’m still pinching myself over this fact :))

That makes me a so-called hybrid author: self-published and traditionally published. I don’t regret my decision to self-publish one bit. However, I don’t deny that knowing two of my books are going to be available in bookstores is giving me a happy fluttery feeling.

Look –> it’s my book on the site of the Bibliothèque nationale de France 🙂

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A bit less than a year ago, I received an email from City Editions asking me if I’d like to have the French versions of A SUMMER LIKE NO OTHER and ALWAYS SECOND BEST in bookstores in France.

I didn’t believe it was real at first. I thought it might be a service someone was offering but nope, they were a serious publishing house and they wanted my books. I signed a contract. I got an advance. Everything was real.

You have no idea what it did to me when I read in the contract a clause about possibly being picked up by France Loisirs in the future. France Loisirs is my youth. It’s a subscription service with so many amazing books and just a lot of memories of going to their stores too sometimes to choose the book I would get. Someone else might pick up my book one day after perusing the store or their catalog for hours. And that makes me happy.

But even if that doesn’t happen, my book, my words…are going to be available in bookstores. Fnac, Cultura, Decitre, local bookstores…even Leclerc. Who knows maybe I’ll also see it at Cora, the store I used to work at as cashier during part of my studies?

And I’m grateful.

To City Editions for reaching out to me. To the translator of A SUMMER LIKE NO OTHER & ALWAYS SECOND BEST, Edith Girval who is simply oh so talented. To everyone who’s read the books already which probably gave me the exposure needed to be seen. To my family and friends for their unwavering support. To my husband, who is every bit as excited about this as I am and who’s so proud of me.

Tomorrow is the day I become a hybrid author. And trust me, when we go to France in a few weeks, I’ll be walking into a bookstore and might shed a tear holding my book in my hands.

Tomorrow is also the day I’m going to reveal the cover of  my next book, SEE ME, SEE ME NOT (with a bunch of fun things and giveaways planned). Stay tuned…

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FEAR ME, FEAR ME NOT has a cover and a giveaway :)

Facebook Cover

My new book, a YA romantic suspense novel FEAR ME, FEAR ME NOT has been in the making for several years. I could say I wrote it in 3 months, but it’s actually taken me 3 years to get the story where I wanted it to be. It will be published on September 27th, 2016 and you can already pre-order it here. 

While browsing the pre-made covers of Najla Qambers , I came across one I fell in love with for a book about another character. The photographer was Lindee Robinson, so I reached out to her to see if I could see more pictures of different couples and I found Erin and Dimitri 🙂

Thank you so much Najla and Lindee!

Fear Me, Fear Me Not Cover

SCREAM meets FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS in this new young adult romantic suspense novel by Elodie Nowodazkij.

Fear is power. They fear me. They don’t fear me enough. Every year a girl disappears in Gavert County, Texas. Their bodies are found days, sometimes months, later with an angel wing carved on their face. They call me “the Angel Killer” and I’m on the hunt again. But this time, it’s personal.

Seventeen-year-old cheerleader Erin Hortz has been warned about the Angel Killer all her life. She never walks alone in the dark. She doesn’t talk to strangers. She doesn’t accept drinks at parties. All she wants is to finish her senior year with a win at the Miss Junior Queen of Hearts pageant, capture the perfect light over the lake with her new camera, and finally catch the attention of her best friend Nadia’s brother—former football star Dimitri Kuklev. Since his injury, they’ve been spending a lot of time together. And getting to know the real Dimitri—not the one she put on a pedestal in her diary is better than she could ever have imagined. And she’s falling hard.

Nineteen-year-old Dimitri’s injury brought him from football superstar with universities from all around the country knocking at his door to not knowing what he wants to do with his life. Taking classes at the local community college is supposed to get him back on track, but all he wants is to be on the field again. The only person who seems to understand him is the one he swore to keep in the friend zone: Erin. His sister Nadia’s best friend and the reason why he can’t keep a girlfriend. Between their early morning jogs, their time spent at the lake laughing, and their late night conversations, he’s having a hard time remembering why it’s such a bad idea.
But when Nadia doesn’t come home after a party, Dimitri and Erin know they must find her before it’s too late—even if that means risking their own lives and everything Erin’s ever known.

Because the main suspect is Erin’s father.

Amazon preorder

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Annnnnd you could win a $50 Amazon Gift Card by participating in The Cover Reveal Giveaway…

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THANK YOU 🙂

Currently

Currently…

In an effort to blog a bit more regularly, I’ve decided to  Katy Upperman‘s “Currently” posts 🙂 Don’t hesitate to join us. (Find the origins of the idea HERE.)

Loving

Planning again!

Reading

I am finishing up HATE LIST by Jennifer Brown and man this book is breaking my heart.

Watching

The hubby and I started watching 30 Rock…Otherwise, I may or may not have Gilmore Girls (again) in the background when doing housework.

Listening To

My very eclectic playlist on my iPod while jogging and writing. I wrote at B&N yesterday after working and having my music on helps me to blur out everything that’s not my main characters.

Thinking About

Ways to make my characters even more real.

Anticipating

Family visit! At the end of April, the hubby’s mom and aunt are arriving and then my parents are joining the fun beginning of May.

Wishing

Hmmm 🙂 You know if you’re on Goodreads, you can add FEAR ME, FEAR ME NOT to your TBR 🙂

Fear Me, Fear Me Not

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annnnd if you’ve read any of my books, don’t hesitate to leave a review on the e-retailer of you choice 🙂 (Amazon, B&N, iTunes, Kobo)

Making Me Happy

Walking the dog with the hubby almost every night and definitely every weekend. Quality time in the midst of our busy schedule is definitely making me happy.

What’s currently making YOU happy?

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News about my next book!

I am so so excited to announce that my next book, FEAR ME FEAR ME NOT, will be out in the world this summer. It’s a YA romantic suspense novel. I’ve been working on it for several years. And I may be scaring myself revising it. You can add it to Goodreads now 🙂

Fear Me, Fear Me NotEvery year a girl disappears in Gavert County, Texas. Their bodies are found days, sometimes months, later with an angel wing carved on each girl’s face. And the Angel Killer is on the hunt again, looking for his next victim.

Seventeen-year-old cheerleader Erin Hortz has been warned about the Angel Killer all her life. She never walks alone in the dark. She doesn’t talk to strangers. She doesn’t accept drinks at parties. All she wants is to finish her senior year with a win at the Miss Junior Queen of Hearts pageant, capture the perfect light over the lake with her new camera, and finally catch the attention of her best friend Nadia’s brother—former football star Dimitri Kuklev. Since his injury, they’ve been spending a lot of time together. And getting to know the real Dimitri—not the one she put on a pedestal in her diary is better than she could ever have imagined. And she’s falling hard.

Nineteen-year-old Dimitri’s injury brought him from football superstar with universities from all around the country knocking at his door to not knowing what he wants to do with his life. Taking classes at the local community college is supposed to get him back on track, but all he wants is to be on the field again. The only person who seems to understand him is the one he swore to keep in the friend zone: Erin. His sister Nadia’s best friend and the reason why he can’t keep a girlfriend. Between their early morning jogs, their time spent at the lake laughing, and their late night conversations, he’s having a hard time remembering why it’s such a bad idea.

But when Nadia doesn’t come home after a party, Dimitri and Erin know they must find her before it’s too late—even if that means risking their own lives and everything Erin’s ever known.

Because the main suspect is Erin’s father.

goodreads-badge-add-plus-71eae69ca0307d077df66a58ec068898

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On Wednesdays we talk about writing…

On Wednesdays we talk about how writing and today it’s all about how amazing it can be.

So, if you’re a writer, you know being a writer isn’t as easy as it sometimes seems. And it’s sometimes not as poetic or romantic as what seems. Dirty laundry piling up, those petrifying moments when you think you suck, the sentence that doesn’t want to cooperate…you know the drill.

If you’re not a writer, you may wonder what the heck I just talked about 🙂

But no matter what: being a writer can be pretty awesome. And here’s one reason:

Reading manuscripts early on. Before anyone else.

Being a critique partner, a beta reader isn’t only awesome to gain skills as a writer, it also means you get to read manuscripts early on. And some of the manuscripts I’ve read are getting published later this year and next year.

And I’m so excited for those authors 🙂

28239308KISSING MAX HOLDEN by Katy Upperman (expected publication: 2017)

When Max Holden’s father suffers a life-altering stroke, seventeen-year-old aspiring pastry chef Jillian Eldridge has no idea how to help her longtime friend. Max, once bright and bold as lemon meringue pie, is sinking into a spiral of self-destruction. Then he knocks on Jill’s window late one night, and she can’t turn him away. Her dad catches them in the midst of a sizzling kiss and gives her a choice: Stay away from Max or fund culinary school on her own.

Still, Jill is drawn to Max like sugar to butter. When her parents’ fights escalate after the birth of her sister, Jill sneaks to Max’s for escape. Then she discovers that her dad’s keeping a secret of his own, one that could shatter their fragile family. Only Max—who’s more involved in the Eldridges’ drama than he realizes—might be able to help Jill put the pieces back together.

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Wanderlost.jpgWANDERLOST by Jen Malone (publication date: May 31st)

Not all those who wander are lost, but Aubree Sadler most definitely is on this novel’s whirlwind trip through Europe.

Aubree can’t think of a better place to be than in perfectly boring Ohio, and she’s ready for a relaxing summer. But when her older sister, Elizabeth, gets into real trouble, Aubree is talked into taking over Elizabeth’s summer job, leading a group of senior citizens on a bus tour through Europe.

Aubree doesn’t even make it to the first stop in Amsterdam before their perfect plan begins unraveling, leaving her with no phone, no carefully prepared binder full of helpful facts, and an unexpected guest: the tour company owner’s son, Sam. Considering she’s pretending to be Elizabeth, she absolutely shouldn’t fall for him, but she can’t help it, especially with the most romantic European cities as the backdrop for their love story.

But her relationship with Sam is threatening to ruin her relationship with her sister, and she feels like she’s letting both of them down. Aubree knows this trip may show her who she really is—she just hopes she likes where she ends up.

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Amazon preorder


 

TheLastThingYouSaidTHE LAST THING YOU SAID by Sara Biren (expected publication: 2017)

Everything changed for Ben Porter and Lucy Meadows after Ben’s sister – Lucy’s best friend – died. Now, as summer returns and the first anniversary of Trixie’s death approaches, Ben and Lucy can no longer avoid their grief or their feelings for each other.

Publication is planned for 2017.

 

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If you’re a writer, what book have you read recently that is/got published recently? 

If you’re a reader, what book are you looking forward to read? 

 

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My writing routine…And some random thoughts.

I remember reading On Writing by Stephen King a few years back and highlighting the heck out of that book. So many quotes resonated with me.

Like this one:

“Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it, and sometimes you’re doing good work when it feels like all you’re managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.”
Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Or this one:

“Optimism is a perfectly legitimate response to failure.”
Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

 

And so many more…

I used to work more than 50 hours a week. It used to take me more than a hour to get to work so I would be out of the house  before 7 a.m. and would not usually be back well after 7 p.m.

During that time, I wrote super duper early in the morning, in the train, on the weekends. I trained myself to write in sprints. And I wrote an entire novel in-between work and business trips and trying to stay on top of things, One, Two, Three which came out on June 26th, 2014.

But now? Now, I work part-time as an adjunct faculty. I’m home a lot more. I have a different schedule, and I am way more productive writing-wise but sometimes it feels like my writing sometimes becomes invisible.

Like it’s in a way more challenging to explain the time it takes to write. Before, I was so busy working, travelling for work, on my blackberry every few seconds, answering phone calls, organizing conferences and bigger events that people didn’t understand when I had time to think about writing a book, let alone actually write a book. I had to make the time.

I still do.

I still have to make the time. Because one can get distracted so easily. One can always find something else to do. One can always find excuses about not writing.

Writing isn’t easy. Writing takes time. Revising takes time. Editing takes time. There’s that one sentence that can take you weeks, even though the rest of the book seems easier. Writing isn’t yet supporting me and my family, financially-wise. And I know I’m lucky to be able to work part-time and have more writing-time than before. So, I need to make sure it stays a priority. It’s not only my passion, it’s not only a hobby, it’s one of my jobs.

And it makes me happy.

In a year, I wrote a novelette, a novella, and two novels. I handled designing the covers of three of those books. I handled marketing, formatting. I handled foreign translations, those covers, part of their marketing. I’ve been busy.

I still wake up before 5 a.m. during the week.

I still struggle with wondering if it’s all worth it. If I will ever make a living out of writing.

I still think writing helps me to stay sane.

I do have more time for myself. I have more time to clean the house, walk the dog, spend time with friends, cook, watch TV, read. I have more time to relax.

It’s not as chaotic time-wise that it used to be. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that writing sometimes consumes me. That it’s still hard to write. That I haven’t it all figured out.

And I think it’s okay.

Because I am a better writer now than two years ago. Because I’m still learning. Because I realize that I’m lucky to be able to dedicate more time to my writing.

Not everyone can. I wasn’t able to before. And I wouldn’t be able to if it weren’t for my husband supporting us financially at the moment.

And I’m also lucky because Stephen King was right about one more thing.

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Now, time to get my ass on the chair and write (in this case, time to get my ass on the chair and face the blank page to outline)

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LOVE IN B MINOR is out in the world! (and giveaway!)

The day is here. I woke up this morning singing “It’s release day”…I’m super nervous about Love In B Minor being out in the world. I want to hug my story one more time. I want to tell my characters they’ll be okay. I want to reassure my book that it’s going to be a crazy ride but a fun one.

And then yesterday, I got this picture by Books & Tea and this made me oh so happy. Paris plays such a big part in this story.

LOVEINBMINORNo promises. No fake tomorrows. That was the plan.

New city. New life. At least, that’s what nineteen-year-old Jen Harrison believes. On the surface, she’s living her dream: dancing in a prestigious dance company in Paris. But her sister’s death and the mistakes she’s tried to bury haunt her. She’s become a pro at hiding who she truly is, and she definitely doesn’t want a guy to derail her, but a one night-stand she can do. Nothing more. She definitely doesn’t plan to see the sexy stranger who made her laugh for the first time in years ever again.

Girls don’t walk away from Lucas Wills. Bad boy turned rock star, he’s got his share of groupies. Always upfront, he doesn’t promise fake tomorrows because love can destroy everything. Been there, done that. His ex not only lied to him, she stomped on his heart, used him to become famous, and almost ruined him. So, waking up alone after a night beyond his wildest imagination with a girl he just met shouldn’t upset him, shouldn’t inspire one of the saddest songs he’s ever written, shouldn’t make him want to chase after her.

When Jen, the one-night stand who got away, auditions to be a dancer in Lucas’ next music video, they can’t stop their growing attraction. But Jen’s secrets and his ex could shatter the careers they tried so hard to build and their hearts…they will have to decide what’s more important and if love is worth the fight.

Love in B Minor is the third standalone novel in Elodie Nowodazkij’s Broken Dreams series.

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GIVEAWAY TIME

You could win a $25 Amazon Gift Card, signed paperback copies of A Summer Like No Other & Always Second Best or an e-copy of One Dream Only & One Two Three.

Click on the image to enter…

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THANK YOU SO SO MUCH ❤