Blogme MAYbe, Observations, personal, writing

Your significant other is a writer? Don´t panic! 10 rules to follow…

This month (well until my honeymoon :D), I will be participating in Blogme MAYbe. This wonderful idea is the brainchild of SaraMcClung and is a weekly blog format with an easy schedule to follow. For more information and join the fun (you can at any time!), simply click on the banner created by the super-duper-talented Tracey. On Thursdays (yes it is already Thursday on my side of the world), the prompt is: May I tell you something about someone else...

Enter my husband aka The Chemical Engineering. He already wrote a guest post with his review of The Hunger Games and he´s back with wonderful advice 😀

Your significant other is a writer?



Don´t panic! 10 rules to follow…

First I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the people who commented on my last guest post. I meant to answer to everyone, but I am just a very lazy and inexperienced blogger. So please accept my apologies. Despite my bad blog etiquette my wife let me do another guest blog entry. Thank you!

Today I would like to share the ten ground rules that should not be broken when your significant other is a writer:

1. Don’t criticize the Twitter usage

Even though it might seem like Twitter is taking over all aspects of life, for some reason it seems to be an important tool for all of the writers who like to share short messages about everyday tasks and events.

2. Make sure to read new blog entries

You might not care about monthly book reviews, but you better know if he/she mentioned you in a blog post. I suggest to quickly fly over the post and look for some key words (Ctrl+F). I look for “Hubby” and “Chemical Engineer”.

3. Make educated comments about their WIP

First you needed to figure out what WIP stands for, but that is not the end of it. When reading two (very similar) versions of the same paragraph you better decide which one sounds better. Comments like “They are good” will not be accepted. A literary analysis (like back in the school days) is the least a writer would expect from their significant other.

4. Blogging takes time so just accept it

Blogging entries have to be done at a particular time. Wether it is Road Trip Wednesday or Happy Friday Posts. They are all important and have to be done at the planned time no matter what happens (yes, this article had to be writtenon a Sunday). All comments have to be addressed as well. The 24 hours in a day should be enough time for this.

5. Buying more books is essential

A writer can never have enough books after all they are “research” and will help in refine the writing style. Room for storing the books can be found anywhere even if it means double stacking the books in the book shelf. Next apartment/house will have to have a room just for books.

6. Don’t make fun of the way he/she talks to other writers

It doesn’t matter if it sounds silly and is absolutely not how grown-ups are meant to interact, this is how they tick. After all they are writers and should know much more about communication than anyone else.

7. Learn how to spell correctly

I don’t know how to spell in any of the three languages that I know. I am so happy that some programmer came out with spell check. I don’t know how I would do without it. When I write an e-mail to my wife I really don’t even run spell check. She takes my misspelling almost as an insult and does makes fun of my spelling at any opportunity that she gets (and there are many opportunities).

8. Don’t bore a writer with technical things (at least not my writer)

As a good wife, mine of course asks me about my work day. I know that if I want to keep her attention I only have about 15 seconds to explain anything technical about my work and most importantly I need to keep it simple. That is also true if we talk about anything else technology related. I guess fictional writers (maybe except science-fiction writers and again this only applies to my writer) are just more into interpersonal relationships and stories and can’t be bothered with the little things like science.

9. Try not to argue that characters in a book/film are fictional

In the mind of a writer characters become almost as alive as any other real person. There is no point in explaining that a character that died, didn’t really die, but just acted out a role. It’s like explaining a child that Bambi’s mother wasn’t shot by hunters.

10. Don’t think that your guest entries in the blog are just as good and/or funny as his/hers

This one is pretty straight forward. You are the engineer (or non-writer) and she is the writer; deal with it.

I was able to come up with these rules only because I have broken them many times. I hope you can agree with some of them. I am going to continue and break them from time to time. It is good to remember them in certain situations, like when you annoyed her and can turn to her with a smile “thanks for the mention on the blog today”, but following them all of the time would just be a bit boring and practically impossible.

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writing

What did I learn this year?

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.”

Mikhail Baryshnikov

Before jumping into any good resolution for 2012, I am looking back at what I learned (writing-related) in 2011. Here are my top 5 lessons of the year.

1. Keep trying

This WIP is a long time coming. It´s the first one I am powering through. I have about 5 other drafts from past years which never saw the magical words “The End”. However, I learned to come back, to not give up. Some days might be better than others but I keep the goal in mind.

2. Learn and research

Writing is a learning process. I am very thankful for all the great posts, advice, websites I have found which remind me it is ok to not know everything. It is a very humbling experience. I try to write better than myself and the competition is tough 🙂

3. Take a break

A breather. A walk outside. An evening without the laptop. We all need to recharge and we cannot beat ourselves if one time, we do not reach the number of words we wanted so badly. Why? what is good for us is mainly good for our story.

4. Read and keep reading

I am lucky that during my commute I can devour books. Reading helps me to write and it also reminds me on how much I would like to have people reading my story. Plus, I get to escape in other worlds, walk in other people’s shoes if only for a few hours. It’s just wonderful!

5. Connect

Roaming forums (not anymore a lurker but a proud member of several writing communities), websites, answering questions, starting this blog and getting on Twitter helped me a great deal. It taught me that support may come from unknown places and that many others go through the same loops as I do. Thanks again to all!

What lessons did 2011 teach you?

writing

Help needed: The writer and the quest for criticism

Over the week-end, I reached 43k in my YA paranormal romance, I blogged, enjoyed the Christmas Market, worked out, tweeted (I am becoming an official addict of Twitter) and cooked. Go, me, go! (*does her own little cheerleading dance while husband rolls eyes*). I decided to take part in Deja Vu Blogfest (more details here) ´cos it sounds like fun 🙂

I also roamed the internet and the wonderful-super-helpful forums (Absolute Write, YAlitchat.org) to learn more about getting crit partners and beta readers. First, I had to come to terms again that writing meant I did have to learn a new language (what the heck is the difference between a crit partner and beta readers?), this post helped me clarify a bit. Basically, a beta reader gives you a full impression (more on the plot/characters than on the hard editing) while a crit partner may tear your draft apart with language/vocab/grammar error. Am I getting this right? Feel free to correct me if I´m wrong. ..

Then, the next question came: when do I actively start looking for either one of those? And here I am at loss. I am not sure if I should already try to dig out my beta-reader(s) or my crit partner(s).

So, now on to you and your knowledge/experience/ideas: when did you start looking for a crit partner/beta reader? Did you even have one? Will you look for one if like me you´re still in the middle of your first draft?

Observations, Train

Week 39 – Delays, another perk of commuting?

Delays are annoying, sure…but let’s try to see the positive side of them.



It is quite an exercise as I get very annoyed when I leave work somewhat on time but my plans on coming back somewhat early compared to usual is flawed by things out of my power.



so maybe it is a control thing:
of course coming late to work is not a pleasant feeling especially when one gets up extra early to make sure they do make it to that particular timing but what can one do about it? Leaving earlier does not necessarily mean you will make it earlier, checking the trains’ status does help but only when the statuses are actually updated…

I simply wish I had more control over this type of situation which brings me back to the beginning of my post.



Delays are annoying, sure…but let’s try to see the positive side of them.

* If you commute with somebody you know, you can chit chat a tad longer
* You can get coffee-to-go
* You can listen to your ipod
* You can use the time to check your emails…
* You can observe people and see how they get annoyed
* You can day dream

Plus let’s face it: being stuck in traffic jam can be more stressful, yes you are in control but control does not mean it’s solving the issue…

Does it mean that I will be less annoyed next time there is delay?

Probably not but when I see the sign “Delay” (here note the emphasis on Delay…not cancellation, it may make me smile…)